The Goldfish

Nico’s POV

Sucking in another breathe I looked around at the still empty training arena and sighed. It wasn’t like I wanted attention or something, I didn’t need people to watch me and tell me I had done good, but still. I couldn’t place the feeling I felt but I didn’t like it, it hurt and felt cold in my chest and more than anything I just wanted it to go away. Growling in angered frustration I rose my sword and launched myself at the training dummy again, my eyes narrowed as I watched the light dance and shimmer off of the dark blade of my sword. Heat pounded down from the sky in a never ending and punishing wave after wave, the rays getting absorbed into my black t-shirt soaking it with sweat and making my skin ache as I was sure I turned red as the blood of Tartarus.

I’m not sure how long I trained or what made me stop but by the time I finally paused to wipe the sweat from my eyes and bent over to put my hands on my knees as I gasped for breathe and retched trying to force my lungs to behave normally I felt as though I had taken down a whole army of Romans, and each one of them had beaten me while I was down. My legs trembled and my throat was raw from my panting, my long spidery like fingers decorated with blisters and cuts. Straightening up I sheathed my sword, forced my sweaty hair back with my hands and looked around at the destruction I had caused.

All the training dummies had been gutted or disemboweled, stuffing and straw littered the floor like gems in a treasure chest. There were small cracks in the ground surrounding me and as I watched one skeletal hand starting to drag itself out of one of the larger cracks, I stomped on it hard with my scuffed boot as I stormed past and I heard something foul hiss at me furiously before retreating back into the hell it had come from.

Luckily for me the showers were empty and I shed my clothes quickly, ignoring the faucet that produced hot water I let an icy torrent fall over my burnt and abused skin, making me wince as it pounded against my injuries. Feeling weak and weary I leaned my forehead against the tile wall and let drops of moisture cover my face, falling into my parched mouth and getting stuck in long eyelashes. My back had started to feel numb from the water and as if my body was on auto-pilot I reached out and turned the water off. Slowly I sank onto the floor closing my eyes with a pained noise. My body did hurt, I had pushed myself to my limit and I knew it. Each time I trained I tried to get better, I wanted to get stronger, and that way no one would feel as if they had to protect me anymore. I knew I struck fear into people’s hearts, I frightened them and something about me chased people away, I made them want to leave and never look back.

But even with that being true there was another side to me, yes I did scare people and make them look away quickly when I melted out of the shadows and met their icy gaze, but when the fighting started, when the swords and blood were unleashed, people wanted to protect me. For even the briefest of moments my dark façade seemed to shift away and they didn’t see the cold and unruly son of Hades, they saw only a boy. A pale scrawny boy with disorganized hair and sad eyes, eyes that somehow seemed to contain all of the misery of the world, for a brief second they saw the heavy burden that lay on my shoulders, that each day drug me deeper and deeper into the earth. And when they saw that they would react, they wanted to protect me and I hated that.

Clenching my teeth I clenched my fingers driving my fist into the tile floor. I ignored the starburst of pain in my hand and instead allowed my wild thoughts to run ramped. I didn’t want people to only feel for me when it came to a fight, I didn’t want to be the thing they felt an urge to protect. I wanted them to care for me all the time! As much as it pained me to admit it, I wanted to be cared for, like when I had been younger and Bianca had taken care of me. Sure we had bickered and we hadn’t always gotten along, but I had still known that when I was scared and hurting inside she would be there for me. Now, now there was no one to feel that way about me. Sure I had Hazel, but if anything it was all wrong, I felt like I had to be the one to take care of Hazel, not the other way around. I just wanted someone to take care of me, as silly and childish as that sounded I needed someone to be there for me.

By the time I got out of the showers it was getting dark and my legs were numb from the cold water. I hadn’t bothered to dry off properly and I could feel water sloshing in my boots as I trudged forwards knowing the way to my lonely cabin by heart.  On my way to my cabin though, something made me stop and turn and when I saw what my body had frozen to gaze at I tasted something bitter in my mouth and all the air seemed to be whisked away from me as easily as though I was a balloon that had been punctured.

It was his cabin, the lights were off but I doubted he was asleep. More likely he was with his friends, off raiding the kitchens or swimming in the lake or doing some other fun goody goody adventure. Slumping down a little I turned towards his cabin without even really putting much thought into it and leaned my shoulder against the door pushing it open. The old, dry wood creaked and my nose wrinkled at the fishy smell the whole place seemed to fan off in each direction. Honestly how he managed to live with that was beyond me. I didn’t bother flicking on the lights, I could see in the dark just fine, practice from so many lonely nights.

Stray rubbish and litter was everywhere, a shoe hand from the chandelier like a suicide victim and a bag of jelly beans was thrown on the dresser, the package torn letting its rainbow internals spill out in every direction. The floor creaked under my feet as I walked and I found myself walking slower, looking over my shoulder as I continued to walk.

Something from the corner of the cabin glittered, catching my eye in the dark and I made my way towards it slowly in case it was something dangerous.

It wasn’t.

It was a fishbowl, plain looking and round, filled with water and a few colored stones complete with a simple enough orange goldfish that swam in lazy circles around its aquatic home. Leaning back on my heels I peered at the small creature.

“Hello little thing.” I whispered as I watched it swim and the fish paused for a moment as though it had heard my greeting before it brushed the words off and continued to swim. I chuckled lightly under my breathe. “What? Do you my words not interest you, small orange creature?” The fish continued to swim and I smiled in a pleased way convincing myself that I liked this creature. I couldn’t even remember having a pet before, but I could certainly see the pleasure in owning one. The fish stopped to bob at the top of the bowl briefly before darting back to the bottom, and I grinned amazed as I watched the small animal as transfixed as a kid at a fireworks display.

Scooting a little closer I bided my time, waiting for the fish to surface again and when it did I lowered my hand slowly and gently ran the tip of my index finger over the scales on its back. The fish froze as though in shock and I whispered softly. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.” I smiled kindly at the fish so it would know I meant it no harm.

Then it seized up, it happened so fast I jumped back with a cry of shock, water droplets spraying everywhere as I knocked the bowl off of its shelf. I yelled in horrified alarm and dove for the bowl but it was too late, glass and water spewed in every direction, covering the ground in it's reflectivity. My panicked eyes scanned the ground quickly looking for a small orange body, and when I saw it-it wasn’t moving. Hurrying quickly on my knees I picked the fish up and it didn’t move. Jumping to my feet I rushed to the bathroom and quickly filled the sink with cool water, tapping my foot and making pained squeaking noises the whole time. Once the sink was filled I quickly plunged the fish into the water and it bobbed to the surface as it showed it’s cold stomach at me.

I felt my throat start to close and my eyes felt hot. I’d killed it, all I had wanted to do was pet it and I had killed it. A low agonized noise slipped past my lips and before I knew it hot water dribbled from my eyes and I covered with my face as I sank onto the floor and whimpered into my knees. I had liked the little animal, I had tried to care for it and all I had done was end its life. How did I except to help people, how could I ever dream of being a hero when I couldn’t even keep a simple goldfish alive?

The sound of footsteps made me freeze, and when the cabin lights flicked on I tried to choke off my tears as best I could as I froze and pressed my back against the bathroom wall holding my breath as my heart decided to run its marathon of emotions. The footsteps stopped and a startled voice exclaimed.

“What in Hades?!” Peeking around the doorway I watched as a tall and tanned figure ran to the remains of the shattered fishbowl and looking around said in a frenzied panic. “Mr. McOrange?!” The guilt in my chest tightened and I felt another tear slid down my cheek. I was sure there was no way that the single drop of salty fluid would be able to capture anyone’s attention, but in some twisted turn of fate Percy looked up and his eyes caught mine and I heard the gasp leave my mouth as his brow furrowed and he asked. “Nico? What are you doing in my cabin?”

I wasn’t able to give a proper answer as the son of the sea god came towards me but all I could do was gesture at the sink and stutter in a muffled voice. “I….There was no way….Just wanted to pet him!...Couldn’t save him!”

Percy walked over to the sink and after looking into it he said slowly. “…You killed my fish…?”

“I didn’t mean to!” I promised quickly my heart seizing and Percy laughed which shocked me enough to look up.

“No man, it’s a question, because he looks fine to me.”  I was up in a flash my hands clamped at the side of the sink as I gazed in wonder at the swimming orange blob in the water and how it’s scales flickered and flashed in the water.

“…How…?” I asked dumbly and Percy laughed again.

“He likes you.” Pery said with a smirk as the fish swam small paces in front of me and wiping my eyes I repeated.

“…How…?” Percy smiled softly at me and left the restroom, only to return with a glass jar.

“Here.” He said scooping some water and the fish out. “You look like someone who could use a friend.” He pressed the wet jar into my hands and smiled. “Keep him.”

“What?” I asked dumbly looking at Percy in shock and he laughed for a third time as though I really did amuse him.

“What are you death?” He chortled at his own joke before putting a hand on top of my head, ruffling my hair before he pushed me out of his cabin. “Take good care of him, ok?” I was only able to nod dumbly before the door closed in my face and I looked down at the glass jar in my hands and whispered a gentle smile on my face.

“Hello Percy Jr.”